Understanding grief: still the most off-limits topic?

More than 30 years ago, in a speech, John W. James, Founder of The Grief Recovery Institute, said, “Grief is the most off-limits topic for conversation in the English-speaking Western World.” A quarter of a century later, with more than 500,000 copies of our books in homes and libraries, we’d love to tell you that has changed. But it wouldn’t be the whole truth. In this series of blogs, understanding grief and the myths about grief are our main goals.

Yes, the word “grief” is sprinkled throughout conversations now and then, and yes, the media refer to “grief counselors” being brought in when there’s a tragedy in the news, but the actual topic of grief, or people’s reaction to loss and what to do about it, is still off-limits.

Why? That’s the question that keeps us up at night.

In a world where almost nothing is off-limits anymore, where what used to be regarded as the most private of thoughts and feelings are now revealed openly on talk shows, why is grief still spoken of in hushed tones, or not talked about at all? Sadly, we think we know the answer. In our books and speeches we refer to the six myths about grief that limit us in our ability to deal with the inevitable losses that affect our lives. Those myths not only affect our grief, but equally important, they keep us from recovery or completion of what was left emotionally unfinished for us when someone important to us dies, or we get divorced, or when we’re impacted by any of the 40 other life events that can produce feelings of grief.

We’re not going to go into detail about those myths here; we just want you to start thinking about them with a critical eye as to whether or not they are true, and whether or not they help you.

If you found this article helpful, you can download the free eBook The Major Myths About Grief, or read the full article and watch the videos on the Grief Recovery Method blog.